How much spiritual healing the physical illness can bring, how much unity the possibility of loss can create… How incredible is the body that heals and wants to live, and how much the mind needs to step aside, aware of its limitations and lack of influence when it comes to the illness —
— it amazes me.
Illness can be our gate to the deepest realizations about healing. It can heal everything and everyone around it’s presence. The mind, of course, will disagree as it wants to see the physical healing. It always wants the proof. But the proof is always there, however not in the places the mind wants to see it.
When one body is deep in the coma trying to survive, and the bodies of the kins unite for the first time in Clamness… not against anyone, and anything… not against the pain, not against the loss, not against the fate, doctors and future possibilities… but truly in Calmness… when we lie down and do BodyMarc together as the whole family… the grandmother, mother, sister and aunt, siblings and children… we can see in the tragedy, the traces of a miracle.
We can experience the deep healing for the whole family, which illness can bring, and how much it can teach us about importance of Life, need of celebrating it, and about the power of forgiveness and focusing on every tiny moment of lightness and joy – as they lead us to gratitude.
There is no healing without gratefulness.
When, even in the deepest despair, we see that we still have so much to be grateful for, it’s a miracle. It’s already healing. Most importantly, we can be grateful for LIFE, that we all so much want to catch and sustain — but do we really know what it is?
We don’t, until we may lose it.
And this is the biggest gift of the illness, that I am grateful for. To experience in flesh how little we still know about LIFE that we all try so desperately to sustain, to keep, to improve, to own.
I am grateful for every little realization about LIFE that the last two weeks brought to me. I am grateful to have experienced illness and healing, and I am grateful for the moments when I came to Him and He looked at me, and closed my hand in His hand, and didn’t want to let go.
And when I felt under my skin that I also don’t want to let go; I don’t want to let go of the chance I have in this LIFE to experience it for what it truly is ?
And now after the improvement and awakening from coma, He has Sepsis and fights for His life again.. and I am so deeply grateful that it’s hard to describe. I am grateful that we had this chance, when he awakened from the coma, to hold each other’s hands and say I love you, and to feel love, trust and togetherness so deeply as we have never had before.
To me it’s a gift I will be eternally grateful for, as it enriched my life and memories I will forever have about my beloved Grandfather.